3. HOW FOOD IS USED TO SUPPRESS EMOTIONS
Many of us were raised in families where the expression of feelings was discouraged or even punished. Such phrases as, “Shut up or I’ll give you something to cry about!” or, “Children should be seen and not heard” are common examples. More frequently however we find a parent who is simply too busy and stressed to listen to their children’s feelings and needs. Sometimes children discover on their own that eating some food can help them suppress their anger and tears and sometimes children can be programmed by their parents to eat in this way. A child cries with pain, or needing some attention, and a well-meaning parent will give the child a bottle or sweet to keep them quiet. It doesn’t take long for the child to learn this life-long eating habit.
The solution is to return the client in trance to the time he or she first learned to stuff their feelings with food. Then we can bring in the resource of the client’s adult self to encourage the child to express their feelings. It is recommended that the client express feelings, anger, tears, etc. in a loud voice, “That’s good! You tell them! You deserve to be heard” are excellent expressions. The empowered adult self (along with, if necessary, the presence of a new inner parent) is encouraged to respond lovingly and approvingly to the child’s expression of feeling. Then we help the child experience the incomparable joy of their needs being met. The client is told to feel in their bodies the fulfillment of these experiences. Finally, we bring this newly developed skill of expressing feelings into the client’s present life and into their present time communications with others, sometimes through assertiveness training, sometimes through mental rehearsals. In effect, we are training the client’s subconscious mind to express feelings safely and confidently.
The solution is to return the client in trance to the time he or she first learned to stuff their feelings with food. Then we can bring in the resource of the client’s adult self to encourage the child to express their feelings. It is recommended that the client express feelings, anger, tears, etc. in a loud voice, “That’s good! You tell them! You deserve to be heard” are excellent expressions. The empowered adult self (along with, if necessary, the presence of a new inner parent) is encouraged to respond lovingly and approvingly to the child’s expression of feeling. Then we help the child experience the incomparable joy of their needs being met. The client is told to feel in their bodies the fulfillment of these experiences. Finally, we bring this newly developed skill of expressing feelings into the client’s present life and into their present time communications with others, sometimes through assertiveness training, sometimes through mental rehearsals. In effect, we are training the client’s subconscious mind to express feelings safely and confidently.
AN ALCHEMY STUDENT SHARES HER HEALING EXPERIENCE WITH CLIENTS
"Even before I completed my training in Alchemy, I found that people in my life were anxious to experience for themselves the profound healing I was receiving in my training. Now, in my successful private practice, people have shared with me how easy it is to let go of childhood, adolescent, and adult trauma, including sexual abuse. Every client who has come to me for weight loss has lost weight. Plus, many have expanded creativity, stopped addictive behaviours, stepped out of abusive relationships, improved family relations, created abundance, and improved their physical health through spontaneous changes in diet and exercise. The power inherent within Alchemical Hypnotherapy has given me the transformation of a lifetime and helped me to assist countless others in healing themselves."
Marilyn Clevenger
San Rafael, CA
Case Study: Sarah
Sarah was 50 lbs. overweight and reported that repressing feelings was a problem. Her subconscious mind took her to a memory with her mother in the kitchen: She is crying about a broken toy and feeling neglected by her mother, who is on the phone. Mother hands Sarah a cookie along with a look that clearly implies she is not to be disturbed. While this kind of daily neglect rarely gets the media attention of sexual or violent abuse incidents, it is these supposedly mundane events which repeated often enough produce the “Emotional Stuffing” syndrome.
Our therapeutic intervention began by bringing in the client’s adult self. The adult self tells her mother that she is making a big mistake. She is encouraged to express her anger loudly; her mother is immediately remorseful. Then we ask her child self to express with tears again, which she does out loud. We gently instruct her mother how to listen to Sarah’s needs and respond to them (If Mother were less warmly responsive it might have been necessary to release her and replace her with a new mother in the client’s inner world. This would not significantly affect the adult Sarah’s relationship with her present mother, but simply provide a symbolic new resource for the child of the past.)
We then embed this new resource in the client’s body and memory with words like, “Now breathe in that wonderful feeling as Mother holds you. And now she’s looking at your broken toy, and promises she’ll get you a new one soon. Now she’s going into your room and helping you find another toy to play with. Breathe in this wonderful feeling. Notice how wonderful it is to let Mother know how you are feeling. This is how she knows to take care of you.” These words are called “counter-programming suggestions” and are essential to re-enforce new core beliefs and behaviors.
This new resource is tapped every time the client feels an uncomfortable feeling in her present life. “Now every time you have an unpleasant feeling, the kind that made you want to eat, you remember how safe it is now to tell your husband or children how you feel.” Sarah is walked through a quick rehearsal of expressing this feeling to her husband. She can be advised on the best ways to express her feelings in a style that he finds it easy to respond to.
Sarah was 50 lbs. overweight and reported that repressing feelings was a problem. Her subconscious mind took her to a memory with her mother in the kitchen: She is crying about a broken toy and feeling neglected by her mother, who is on the phone. Mother hands Sarah a cookie along with a look that clearly implies she is not to be disturbed. While this kind of daily neglect rarely gets the media attention of sexual or violent abuse incidents, it is these supposedly mundane events which repeated often enough produce the “Emotional Stuffing” syndrome.
Our therapeutic intervention began by bringing in the client’s adult self. The adult self tells her mother that she is making a big mistake. She is encouraged to express her anger loudly; her mother is immediately remorseful. Then we ask her child self to express with tears again, which she does out loud. We gently instruct her mother how to listen to Sarah’s needs and respond to them (If Mother were less warmly responsive it might have been necessary to release her and replace her with a new mother in the client’s inner world. This would not significantly affect the adult Sarah’s relationship with her present mother, but simply provide a symbolic new resource for the child of the past.)
We then embed this new resource in the client’s body and memory with words like, “Now breathe in that wonderful feeling as Mother holds you. And now she’s looking at your broken toy, and promises she’ll get you a new one soon. Now she’s going into your room and helping you find another toy to play with. Breathe in this wonderful feeling. Notice how wonderful it is to let Mother know how you are feeling. This is how she knows to take care of you.” These words are called “counter-programming suggestions” and are essential to re-enforce new core beliefs and behaviors.
This new resource is tapped every time the client feels an uncomfortable feeling in her present life. “Now every time you have an unpleasant feeling, the kind that made you want to eat, you remember how safe it is now to tell your husband or children how you feel.” Sarah is walked through a quick rehearsal of expressing this feeling to her husband. She can be advised on the best ways to express her feelings in a style that he finds it easy to respond to.
We will also follow through in our rehearsal to see that her needs are being met afterwards in some way. She can be given more help to refine her skills at emotional expression. “Perhaps instead of blaming him we could just tell him how this behavior makes you feel?” The rehearsal persists until her communication is comfortable, and it works to get her needs met. While shouting and crying may be a useful part of the client’s therapy, opening up the channels of emotional expression, it isn’t so useful in our daily family lives. Instead the client needs to develop adult communication skills, which in many cases have never been properly developed.
Half-dozen similar memories provided by Sarah’s subconscious mind were re-programmed in this way. This included both repeated rescue missions for her child self and multiple mental rehearsals of her new adult communication skills.
After only four hours of therapy, and two weeks later, Sarah reported that not only was she eating far less, she was finding her relationships changing in dramatic and wonderful ways. Her experiences of victimization and powerlessness were disappearing, and love and intimacy were growing in her family. And she was losing weight! She also shared that the other changes in her life were much more important to her than the lost weight. She was already beginning a life that was no longer ruled by weight issues. It is typical when working with weight issues that many other aspects of the client’s life change dramatically for the better, because the client is addressing core issues, of which weight is only one symptom.
Half-dozen similar memories provided by Sarah’s subconscious mind were re-programmed in this way. This included both repeated rescue missions for her child self and multiple mental rehearsals of her new adult communication skills.
After only four hours of therapy, and two weeks later, Sarah reported that not only was she eating far less, she was finding her relationships changing in dramatic and wonderful ways. Her experiences of victimization and powerlessness were disappearing, and love and intimacy were growing in her family. And she was losing weight! She also shared that the other changes in her life were much more important to her than the lost weight. She was already beginning a life that was no longer ruled by weight issues. It is typical when working with weight issues that many other aspects of the client’s life change dramatically for the better, because the client is addressing core issues, of which weight is only one symptom.
Go to Chapter 1: Understanding Metabolic Programming
Go to Chapter 2: Addressing The Underlying Causes Of Our Eating Habits
Go to Chapter 4: Losing Weight Through Creative Expression
Dieting Leads to Weight Gain: Achieve Permanent Weight Loss with Alchemical Hypnosis
Go to Chapter 2: Addressing The Underlying Causes Of Our Eating Habits
Go to Chapter 4: Losing Weight Through Creative Expression
Dieting Leads to Weight Gain: Achieve Permanent Weight Loss with Alchemical Hypnosis
