Alchemy Hypnotherapy and Sexual Abuse Survivors: Alchemical Healing with Debbie Unterman
by Lezli Censullo
It is estimated that one out of three girls, and at least one out of seven boys, are sexually abused by the time they reach the age of eighteen. This means that if you are currently working as a counselor or hypnotherapist, you are most likely already working with sexual abuse survivors who may or may not remember their abuse.
Alchemical hypnotherapy offers the therapist a set of special techniques that complement traditional therapies to help the survivor integrate her experiences and change the abusive patterns in her life. Debbie Unterman is an Alchemical Hypnotherapist working in Atlanta, Georgia, who has come to specialize in working with sexual abuse survivors. This article tells the story of Debbie's work with a very brave survivor who hopes that sharing her experiences will help others receive the help they need.
Uncovering memories: The power of Trance
Susan first came to Debbie for work in dealing with a host of physical problems, as well as to resolve her relationship with a father who had been physically abusive. When asked if there had been any sexual abuse, Susan replied, "Oh no, my father wouldn't do that. I know I was never sexually abused."
During their fifth session together, Susan went back to a time when Little Suzy was playing with her daddy: "Daddy, don't do that. You're touching me. I don't like that." Her world was falling out from under her. How could this be true? She must be making it up. Her father would never do that to her; he loved her.
Absolving the Child from Responsibility and Guilt
Alchemical Hypnotherapy allows people to run and change traumatic incidents from the past through a dramatic rescue mission. The "strange child technique" is very important here in order to educate the survivor as to the rights of the child to be free from abuse. According to Debbie, "Survivors are often sure they must have done something very bad to bring the abuse on. We need to show them that no child deserves to be mistreated." In the strange child technique the therapist suggests to the client that some other small child, not the client, is being molested. Immediately the client's adult self sees the absurdity of holding this other child responsible for the crime of molestation, and can then apply this insight to her own childhood situation. Susan says, "Working with the strange child technique has allowed me to realize that no child deserves to go through what I've been through. Not even me."
Creating Allies for the Inner Child through Alchemical Dream work
"This is so hard," claims Susan, "We (survivors of abuse) blame that child for so much. It takes so much pain to listen to what that little kid has to say." Debbie further explains, "With Susan, as with many survivors, there was no functioning adult who was willing to acknowledge the inner child. Big Susan did not want to take care of Little Suzy." A breakthrough came when Debbie prompted Susan to go into a recurring nightmare that Susan had from the time she was four years old through her adult years. In the nightmare Susan was being chased continually by a terrible monster. During the session Debbie suggested that Susan confront that monster and ask it why it was chasing her. The monster replied, "I just want you to recognize me!" Suddenly the monster transformed from a big hairy repulsive thing into a friendly green monster who was now becoming little Suzy's protector. Susan explains the transformation, "That ugly monster changed right before my eyes into my little kid's best friend. He told me that he loves me and wants to help me. The Alchemical Process has finally let me put that nightmare to rest and created for me a fuzzy friend inside."
The Adult-Child Bond
The core of the Alchemical Process is to link the adult with the inner Child in order to form a new family and give the child a new sense of security. Even after little Suzy found her protector in her Inner Monster, it took many months before Big Susan was willing to nurture Little Suzy. The crucial bond was finally forged while listening to an Alchemical Journey tape. Susan says, "I went into trance and suddenly I saw this little girl coming toward me on the beach. I went up to her and bent down as she reached up to me. I picked her up and held her in the air, saying, 'Oh, little Suzy!' She sighed, 'Mommy!', her hands caressing my face."
Disassociation and Inner Character Work
Most survivors learn to disassociate from, or numb, their bodies so they will not feel what is being done to them. They may actually leave their bodies and view the scene from a great distance above. Learning not to do this is extremely difficult for most survivors. Susan learned to do this as a very young child. As a result, she continued to remove little Suzy in this manner from any source of pain as an adult.
During their Alchemical sessions, Debbie and Susan discovered a character within Susan they called M&M. M&M is the part of Susan who likes pain and who would take over whenever Little Suzy left her body. (M&M = masochism & masochism.)
Many survivors will inflict physical pain upon themselves. Susan, for example, deliberately cut herself several times. These tendencies resulted from a desire to punish herself as well as from an effort to externalize the pain she was feeling inside. now, thanks to the gentle integration provided by Debbie's Alchemical work, M&M has become Susan's limit-setter who works with the monster in the role of protector. Susan explains, "M&M is the part of me that knows how to be tough and how to say NO."
Public Exposure of the Guilty Party
Using trance and active imagination, the Alchemical Hypnotherapist has the tools to help the survivor not only accept her painful past but transform her memories into important healing resource. one example of this is the "public exposure" technique. During one session Debbie suggested Susan call all the people of the community together in her imagination for a public denouncement and re-enactment of her father's crimes. Susan could not bring herself to do this, saying, "But he was so good. They'd never believe it. He was like a saint in the community."
Debbie recollects, "So I decided to try and turn it around. Using reverse suggestion, I suggested that she give him an award in front of the whole congregation for being a saint. We even called in Jesus to give him the award. Susan was going along with this until the very last moment when Jesus said, 'Oh no, there's been some sort of a mistake. This man has not been a saint at all.' Through this public denunciation of the guilty father, Susan was finally on the road to understanding and accepting herself as the innocent victim of abuse."
Accepting Memories: The "Split-off" Technique
Acceptance takes time. It may be important for the survivor to also work with a Sexual Abuse Counselor during this period so she can have the support necessary to break through the barriers of disbelief. The trust she has placed in her most essential support system (her family) must in some way be surrendered. Then with acceptance of the abuse, her whole world must change. Susan admits, "I worked every day for a year to accept the fact that an adult giant took advantage of my Little Child - raped me and hurt me and did everything to me that he could possibly do short of killing me. And yet, there is a part of me that misses my Daddy so much - that loves him so much and that just can't believe that he would do that to me."
Debbie explains how she was able to help Susan resolve this horrible dichotomy of feelings. "The Alchemical split-father technique is extremely helpful here because it allows for the preservation of some feelings of trust and support. This technique allowed Susan to know and embrace the 'good' father she knew and loved, while punishing, repudiating, and banishing her abusive "bad" father who she realized she had denied existed for so long. Susan says: "From getting to know the characters inside me like Little Suzy, the monster and M&M, I understand we all have many parts to ourselves. That's allowed me to look at my father differently - I can now see both the horrible man who abused me and the father who loved me and played with me."
The Importance of Homework
Susan now spends some time every day with little Suzy and says this is invaluable. Homework extends the benefits of therapy and helps the survivor learn to depend on her own inner resources. Susan must constantly tell Little Suzy that she is a good little girl who deserves love and fun and hope. Little Suzy is finally learning to believe her father was a very sick man and that she did nothing to bring these experiences upon herself.
Expressing Anger Through Etheric Plane Communication
It is especially important that the survivor be given the opportunity to express anger at the perpetrator. This may be extremely scary for the survivor and is something that Susan is still working with.
It is not necessary to express anger by actually confronting the abuser or the enabler. Confrontation may be physically dangerous or difficult, but the Alchemical process enables the survivor to express the anger in the totally safe environment of the therapist's office and to achieve the emotional release and empowerment resulting from confrontation without endangering the survivor's physical body. "Completing my communication with my parents etherically," says Susan, "has resulted in getting out of my body a lot of pain that had been stored as physical diseases for years, such as asthma and high blood pressure."
The Role of Inner Guides
In The Courage to Heal, an excellent resource for abuse survivors, Ellen Bass and Laura Davis discuss the importance of finding the spiritual part of yourself in healing. Most survivors feel terribly alienated and finding one's spirituality through Inner Guide work can be a very important tool in helping the survivor connect with sources of support. Alchemical hypnotherapy is founded upon the use of inner Guides and provides some of the most comprehensive technology of Inner Guide work currently available.
Susan's Inner Guides have been very special for her. She describes one guide named John: "John is ever-present and constant," she says. "He is always there - just there - to put his arm around me or comfort and support me. He helps me learn to trust myself. The Alchemical Process has allowed me to know that there's a source of wisdom inside that I can trust and tap into for guidance."
Conclusion
Susan now reports she has experienced profound and rapid changes as a result of her work with Alchemy. She went through what generally takes a survivor two to ten years with traditional therapy, in just one year. She has gone from a state of suicidal depression and desperate anguish, to having a whole new outlook on life manifesting in a new diet and health plan and new expressions of her creativity.
Susan exclaims, "My experiences with Alchemical Hypnotherapy have given me the ability to work through my painful memories and heal my childhood. I believe the ultimate form of therapy for survivors will combine traditional therapies with Alchemical Hypnosis to help the survivor learn to function as a whole individual. I'm presently taking the Alchemical Training in hopes of helping other survivors through the terror and torment that I'm now on the other side of. It's definitely an amazing tool of self-empowerment!"
You may contact Debbie Unterman at dunterman@aol.com, or call 404-289-2343.
