HYPNOSIS FOR CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS
By David Quigley
Hypnosis therapy is very effective with children and adolescents for a wide variety of issues.
Children in a sense are always in a kind of altered state in which story telling imagery is singularly effective. We hypnotists must accept that a child in trance will wiggle, fidget, and squirm. They will also leap in or out of their imagination with a rapidity that may seem confusing until we become more familiar with the way their process works. They have a short attention span, so a session longer than one hour is completely impossible prior to the teenage years. Usually it’s wise to break up a one hour session with younger children, beginning the hour with some talk with the child and parent about their problem and their life, perhaps some communication with the parent about the child's progress, and no more than 40 minutes of trance.
Here is an example: A mother brings in her 10 year old son. He has poor attention span and his grades are low.
During the initial interview (always conducted with the parent and child both present) it becomes evident that the child’s father has a history of violence and verbal abuse toward both mother and child. Currently, the mother is divorced and has full custody. Family dynamics are an important part of the cause of young clients’ problems in every case. When the child is asked what he wants to accomplish in my work with him, he says he has always wanted to be a superhero. I say with genuine interest, “Which one?” He answers “Spiderman!” For the duration of that first session he wiggled around the couch in trance, yelling and using a pillow for beating up a super villain called “Goblin” and rescuing a woman from this evil monster. His mother reports that after just one session he is calmer and less fidgety and his grades have improved markedly. It is clear that while actually confronting his alcoholic father was too conflicted for the child, this mythic journey as a superhero, a journey filled with physical release of tension. helped him solve his problem.
With an older child or adolescent, it is often best help them communicate with an abuser more directly to help relieve the anxiety, shame and the feelings of inadequacy that emerge from abuse. Example: “Let’s imagine that your abusive coach is in front of you now. And you are big and strong. What do you say to him…that’s right…louder now…grab him! (offering a large pillow)…tell him how it feels!...Now what is his response?” To help with this we often return to incidents of abuse in trance, sometimes with the help of an inner warrior guide, described below. By giving teenage clients a loud voice in dealing with a perpetrator (a family member, teacher, or “friend”) while in the safety and privacy of the hypnotherapy office, they regain confidence in every area of their lives. It is also important to point out the difference between emotional release therapy, and real communication in the outer world, and help the client with both forms of expression.
Helping children concentrate on academic achievement and the performance of household responsibilities are important and very common goals when working with children. Frequently, success in both areas is often an indirect result of resolving an internal emotional conflict which is blocking the child’s motivations and their achievement.
Example: His parents brought 10 year old Stan for a session because his grades need to come up. He insisted when he and I were alone, that he wants to be a rock star and play the guitar. So together we go on a trance journey to his future self, a successful rock musician. After enjoying the excitement for a few delightful minutes, I ask his future rock star what are the secrets of his success. I specifically ask: “Are Stan’s academic studies important?” His future self assures both of us that good study habits and learning to read and write are very important to his successful career. After the session, these insights are combined with an agreement from his parents that if his grades remain high for the rest of the year that they will buy him the musical equipment Stan needs for his next step. While the boy’s career as a musician is still in development, his grades have soared and his social skills have also markedly improved, as he brings his “rock star” persona into every aspect of his life.
This is an example of the use of inner guides, which are a major part of Alchemical Hypnosis work with children and adolescents. Children have active imaginations, so it is easy and natural to introduce these “imaginary friends” as a daily resource for helping them make permanent life changes in a short time. (Psychological research has indicated that children with “fantasy friends” outperform other children in both academic achievement and social skills.) One of the first questions asked of a child client before beginning the session is whether they already have a fantasy friend. If they do, that relationship is developed during the session into a permanent alliance to help the child achieve their goals.
For example, one girl’s fairy friend helps wake her up when her bladder is full, to end bed wetting. This was practiced in the office by having her lie down with her pillow from her own bed on the session couch just as if she was asleep, then she experienced while in a deep trance exactly the touch and the words her fantasy friend used to wake her up. Another client has a superhero, Superbrain, who helps him focus on his homework and remember things on the test. We can sometimes use the client’s future adult self as a guide, like the rock star mentioned above. One client, who wants to help other deeply troubled teenagers someday, has a future self called “Dr. Williams”, who helps advise her about her own recovery from anorexia.
For a child who has lost a parent through abandonment or divorce, it is often helpful to find a new inner parent to help the child overcome the feelings of inadequacy and grief associated with this loss. This is especially valuable when reinforced by the custodial parent. Mom says: “No, your dad didn’t call for you again. But your new inner father would never forget you! Let’s call him in now.”
We are certainly not limited to fantasy friends when it comes to these inner guides. Sometimes real people can become inner guides. Another client was a little boy of 4 who misses his mommy when she is at work. In session, he learns how to touch his tummy every time he misses her and call upon her sweet voice saying: “I miss you too, and I love you!” His mother, present in the session, helps reinforce this strategy. Then every evening she asks him if he called on her, and she hugs him when he says “Yes!” This child found great comfort when his mom assured him that she missed him too, and thought of him often and longingly when she was at work. He stopped fussing over mom’s departure in the morning so quickly that it seemed to her like a miracle had occurred. Inner guides can also include a deceased grandparent, pet dog, or even a television star.
It is crucial to make sure the parents are on board with reinforcing (instead of ignoring or criticizing) the child’s imaginary companion as a resource to be used every day. We need to spend time in sessions practicing how to access these guides over and over, teaching clients and their caregivers how to call on these resources every day to achieve lasting results.
Parents can tell their children bedtime stories, or listen to their children’s bedtime stories about their fantasy companions. This is especially helpful for children who are anxious, depressed, or suffer separation anxiety, nightmares or insomnia. And these fantasy friends can be used as a resource for a wide variety of social challenges.
Here are some examples:
· “So you hit your sister, and made her cry. Of course she did take your toy without asking. What does your new inner father say we should do?...Yeah, that makes sense. Aren’t we glad to have him!”
· “So Shannon won’t even talk to you anymore, and she was your best friend. That’s terrible! What does your friend Supergirl say you should do? Talk to her? Okay, become Supergirl and there is Shannon. What do you want to say to her, Supergirl?”
· “So next time the coach humiliates you like that when you did your best, what does your future self the Olympic athlete suggest you say to him?”
There are a wide variety of problems that children and adolescents can bring to a hypnotherapist. Powerful results can be achieved when:
1. The whole family is willing to work together
2. The hypnotherapist treats the child’s feelings and needs with unconditional love and respect
3. The hypnotherapist helps the child access their own internal resources
Children and adolescents are naturally the best subjects for hypnotic work, far better subjects than most adults, because they are strongly motivated for change, are eager to please the adults in their lives, and have vivid, active imaginations.
Hypnosis therapy is very effective with children and adolescents for a wide variety of issues.
Children in a sense are always in a kind of altered state in which story telling imagery is singularly effective. We hypnotists must accept that a child in trance will wiggle, fidget, and squirm. They will also leap in or out of their imagination with a rapidity that may seem confusing until we become more familiar with the way their process works. They have a short attention span, so a session longer than one hour is completely impossible prior to the teenage years. Usually it’s wise to break up a one hour session with younger children, beginning the hour with some talk with the child and parent about their problem and their life, perhaps some communication with the parent about the child's progress, and no more than 40 minutes of trance.
Here is an example: A mother brings in her 10 year old son. He has poor attention span and his grades are low.
During the initial interview (always conducted with the parent and child both present) it becomes evident that the child’s father has a history of violence and verbal abuse toward both mother and child. Currently, the mother is divorced and has full custody. Family dynamics are an important part of the cause of young clients’ problems in every case. When the child is asked what he wants to accomplish in my work with him, he says he has always wanted to be a superhero. I say with genuine interest, “Which one?” He answers “Spiderman!” For the duration of that first session he wiggled around the couch in trance, yelling and using a pillow for beating up a super villain called “Goblin” and rescuing a woman from this evil monster. His mother reports that after just one session he is calmer and less fidgety and his grades have improved markedly. It is clear that while actually confronting his alcoholic father was too conflicted for the child, this mythic journey as a superhero, a journey filled with physical release of tension. helped him solve his problem.
With an older child or adolescent, it is often best help them communicate with an abuser more directly to help relieve the anxiety, shame and the feelings of inadequacy that emerge from abuse. Example: “Let’s imagine that your abusive coach is in front of you now. And you are big and strong. What do you say to him…that’s right…louder now…grab him! (offering a large pillow)…tell him how it feels!...Now what is his response?” To help with this we often return to incidents of abuse in trance, sometimes with the help of an inner warrior guide, described below. By giving teenage clients a loud voice in dealing with a perpetrator (a family member, teacher, or “friend”) while in the safety and privacy of the hypnotherapy office, they regain confidence in every area of their lives. It is also important to point out the difference between emotional release therapy, and real communication in the outer world, and help the client with both forms of expression.
Helping children concentrate on academic achievement and the performance of household responsibilities are important and very common goals when working with children. Frequently, success in both areas is often an indirect result of resolving an internal emotional conflict which is blocking the child’s motivations and their achievement.
Example: His parents brought 10 year old Stan for a session because his grades need to come up. He insisted when he and I were alone, that he wants to be a rock star and play the guitar. So together we go on a trance journey to his future self, a successful rock musician. After enjoying the excitement for a few delightful minutes, I ask his future rock star what are the secrets of his success. I specifically ask: “Are Stan’s academic studies important?” His future self assures both of us that good study habits and learning to read and write are very important to his successful career. After the session, these insights are combined with an agreement from his parents that if his grades remain high for the rest of the year that they will buy him the musical equipment Stan needs for his next step. While the boy’s career as a musician is still in development, his grades have soared and his social skills have also markedly improved, as he brings his “rock star” persona into every aspect of his life.
This is an example of the use of inner guides, which are a major part of Alchemical Hypnosis work with children and adolescents. Children have active imaginations, so it is easy and natural to introduce these “imaginary friends” as a daily resource for helping them make permanent life changes in a short time. (Psychological research has indicated that children with “fantasy friends” outperform other children in both academic achievement and social skills.) One of the first questions asked of a child client before beginning the session is whether they already have a fantasy friend. If they do, that relationship is developed during the session into a permanent alliance to help the child achieve their goals.
For example, one girl’s fairy friend helps wake her up when her bladder is full, to end bed wetting. This was practiced in the office by having her lie down with her pillow from her own bed on the session couch just as if she was asleep, then she experienced while in a deep trance exactly the touch and the words her fantasy friend used to wake her up. Another client has a superhero, Superbrain, who helps him focus on his homework and remember things on the test. We can sometimes use the client’s future adult self as a guide, like the rock star mentioned above. One client, who wants to help other deeply troubled teenagers someday, has a future self called “Dr. Williams”, who helps advise her about her own recovery from anorexia.
For a child who has lost a parent through abandonment or divorce, it is often helpful to find a new inner parent to help the child overcome the feelings of inadequacy and grief associated with this loss. This is especially valuable when reinforced by the custodial parent. Mom says: “No, your dad didn’t call for you again. But your new inner father would never forget you! Let’s call him in now.”
We are certainly not limited to fantasy friends when it comes to these inner guides. Sometimes real people can become inner guides. Another client was a little boy of 4 who misses his mommy when she is at work. In session, he learns how to touch his tummy every time he misses her and call upon her sweet voice saying: “I miss you too, and I love you!” His mother, present in the session, helps reinforce this strategy. Then every evening she asks him if he called on her, and she hugs him when he says “Yes!” This child found great comfort when his mom assured him that she missed him too, and thought of him often and longingly when she was at work. He stopped fussing over mom’s departure in the morning so quickly that it seemed to her like a miracle had occurred. Inner guides can also include a deceased grandparent, pet dog, or even a television star.
It is crucial to make sure the parents are on board with reinforcing (instead of ignoring or criticizing) the child’s imaginary companion as a resource to be used every day. We need to spend time in sessions practicing how to access these guides over and over, teaching clients and their caregivers how to call on these resources every day to achieve lasting results.
Parents can tell their children bedtime stories, or listen to their children’s bedtime stories about their fantasy companions. This is especially helpful for children who are anxious, depressed, or suffer separation anxiety, nightmares or insomnia. And these fantasy friends can be used as a resource for a wide variety of social challenges.
Here are some examples:
· “So you hit your sister, and made her cry. Of course she did take your toy without asking. What does your new inner father say we should do?...Yeah, that makes sense. Aren’t we glad to have him!”
· “So Shannon won’t even talk to you anymore, and she was your best friend. That’s terrible! What does your friend Supergirl say you should do? Talk to her? Okay, become Supergirl and there is Shannon. What do you want to say to her, Supergirl?”
· “So next time the coach humiliates you like that when you did your best, what does your future self the Olympic athlete suggest you say to him?”
There are a wide variety of problems that children and adolescents can bring to a hypnotherapist. Powerful results can be achieved when:
1. The whole family is willing to work together
2. The hypnotherapist treats the child’s feelings and needs with unconditional love and respect
3. The hypnotherapist helps the child access their own internal resources
Children and adolescents are naturally the best subjects for hypnotic work, far better subjects than most adults, because they are strongly motivated for change, are eager to please the adults in their lives, and have vivid, active imaginations.
