The Power of Self Hypnosis
By Jessica Varga
As a healthy, active adult, I rarely get sick. In the past however, I’ve often been hard on myself for becoming ill, believing that only “weaklings” contract illnesses. Last time I was sick, I had to miss an important weekend workshop. I was lying around the house in a state of self-loathing, judging myself for being “weak.” As a child, I was taught to believe that most illnesses were psychosomatic, brought on by negative thinking and emotionalism, and thus failures. Having done a lot of personal work on my past conditioning, I now knew this to be a lie. And yet, there was a part of me who believed it so much that I was feeling genuine self-hatred and guilt about missing the workshop.
As an Alchemical Hypnotherapist, I decided to begin a self-hypnosis session to discover who inside me believed the lies that I was weak and at fault for getting sick. As I relaxed and breathed deeply, a very judgmental part of myself emerged and declared that she wanted to hurt me by deliberately believing lies. I asked her why, and she started attacking the scared, little child part of me. She said it was because of "the weak one" that so many opportunities had been missed. “If you weren’t so weak, life would be totally different! We would be strong! We would have done more with ourselves instead of just staying safe at home! You coward! I hate you!”
I asked Judgmental Jessica if we could go back to the first time she learned that the little child part was weak. She showed me a memory of being on the playground at a very young age, running away from a boy who caught up with “Little Jessie” and hit her in the arm. She began to cry and he walked away with a look of disgust on his face, as if she were too pathetic to beat up. She felt ashamed that she was so weak she wasn't even worth fighting.
I had a talk with both of the characters - Judgmental Jessica and Little Jessie - and explained that it was natural for Little Jessie to be afraid of a boy that was bigger than her, since she wasn't taught how to fight or protect herself and therefore her reaction was totally normal. I asked Judgmental Jessica if there was anything she wanted to say in light of this new information. She responded that she still thought the fault was with Little Jessie, because everybody always pointed the finger at her and accused her of being too fearful and sensitive. They wanted her to quit being scared and grow up! I asked, "Who? Who are the people who wanted her to quit being scared and grow up?" She answered, "Dad, Mom, and the teachers."
I brought Dad, Mom and the teachers in front of me and confronted them. "How dare you tell a child that her feelings are wrong?! Little children should not be expected to be fearless! She was not weak for being afraid! It's OK to be sensitive!”
Little Jessie loved hearing this and felt very happy having me validate her feelings. She felt safe and relieved that someone was on her side and not blaming or judging her. I asked how she would like to punish all of them for making her feelings wrong, and she sentenced them to banishment at a school where they would have to face their own scared inner children and fear, until they learned how to relate to children in a new and healthy way.
Judgmental Jessica, who was listening the whole time, really saw and understood that the fault was not with Little Jessie, but with everyone who judged her. She was so apologetic, she cried and begged Little Jessie to forgive her for treating her the way everyone else had. Judgmental Jessica explained that she thought that people in the outside world would love her only if she got rid of the little, frightened part and shut her up, but now she understood that it wasn’t Little Jessie’s fault that others had judged her. Little Jessie forgave her easily and Judgmental Jessica was amazed at how easily she could be forgiven for such abuse. She saw that this little child was a precious, innocent, sweet and essential part that didn't deserve the treatment she had endured. I asked Judgmental Jessica if she would like to protect Little Jessie from any further abuse - to become her ally instead of her persecutor, and she readily accepted that role. Little Jessie was happy about it too, because Judgmental Jessica is a tough bully that's good to have as an ally!
I imagined moving forward in time then, to a moment when I might be sick in the future and miss some event,
and both inner characters felt at peace. I have experienced an inner peace about being sick ever since, as there is no Judgmental voice in my head telling me that I am being weak. I now have permission to be a human being - sometimes scared, fragile, or sick – as well as strong, healthy, courageous and powerful. Thanks to these alchemical techniques of self-hypnosis, bringing the different parts of myself into harmony, I have reached a new level of self-acceptance.
Jessica Varga is a professional hypnotherapist certified by the Alchemy Institute of Hypnosis, in Santa Rosa, CA. Before practicing Alchemical Hypnotherapy, she studied emotional healing and spiritual counseling with Allan Hardman in the Toltec tradition of Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. She leads Journeys of the Spirit to sacred sites in Mexico and Peru with Allan Hardman, and does freelance web editing and design in addition to seeing clients. Contact her at jvarga@sonic.net or (707) 528-1271.
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